Cuffed and Chained
by BLUEanimeGIRL025
Summary: What happens when Light gets back his memory of the death note and decides to give it all up? This is the ending that would have happened, if Light had chosen... *ahem* "friendship" with L over being Kira. LxLight yaoi boy-on-boy. Better summary inside.
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: **__I do not own Death Note._

_as for Light and L, they own each other. ^_~_

_**Summary: **__An alternate ending to what happened in the anime. What happens when Light regains his memory of the death note - and decides to give it all up? This is the ending that __would__ have happened, if Light had chosen... *ahem* "friendship" with L over being Kira._

_a LxLight story. obviously._

_**yaoi**__yaoiyaoi. (if you don't know what that means) translation: __**gay**__gaygay. boy on boy. =]_

* * *

**THE BEGINNING **

_handcuffs_

"I have to admit Ryuzaki, this is one thing I didn't consider when I agreed to this." He held up his left hand, and the chains of the handcuffs clinked ironically.

"Hmm... yes," L said idly. Light was starting to finally get used to those large, staring and unblinking eyes of his. They always seemed to be on him, anyway. There always seemed to be a cross of emotion in that look, whenever he gazed Light's way. The others never noticed it - to anyone else it would probably seem as if L were just staring off, his mind blank, but Light could see it. Suspicions, the little wheels turning in L's brain as he stared, sometimes wonder, always curiosity. He seemed to be constantly analyzing Light's every move. There was nothing that Light could do without L watching. How long, how many months had it been since Light had been out from under that somehow piercing stare?

"Well, I'm afraid it comes with the territory," L continued. "Just think of it this way Light. I've already seen you use the bathroom, and shower, many times before. First when I had the surveillance cameras installed in your house, and then just a few days ago when you were locked away in that cell...."

Light smirked at that. "You sound like such a pervert."

L's expression changed into one of honest shock and innocence - he had been merely stating facts, not thinking about how he sounded or how people might react to his words. That's just the way L was. Then he made a face, and sat down on the closed lid of the toilet. "How many times am I going to be called a pervert before this is all over?" he complained quietly. "First Misa Amane, and now you, Light." He sighed. "Maybe I really am a pervert."

"Still depressed?" Light asked. They had just had their little fight-slash-conversation in Misa's room the day before. So... L would never be satisfied until he knew without a doubt that Light was Kira.... But that was just impossible. Almost laughable, even. Light would never purposely kill anybody, so how could _he_ be Kira? He would _remember_ doing something like that. For the thousandth time, he racked his brain for some scrap of suspicious memory. He remembered being at school, meeting Misa, and studying a lot. He remembered going on that date with that girl from high school, before he'd met Misa, when the bus they were on was hijacked.... That had been quite the extraordinary experience. And he'd met Ray Penbur that day, Ray Penbur... the one FBI agent that had acted strangely just before he died. Could Light really have been Kira? No, that was just impossible.

"What's wrong, Light?" L asked. Light snapped back to reality at the sound of L's voice, and turned once again to see that open stare on the other guy's face.

"Nothing," Light shrugged. "I was just... thinking." He sighed heavily, and began undressing. It had only been a few days since L had thrown these handcuffs on the two of them, and already this was becoming routine. Every morning, Light would wake groggily and sit up in his twin bed, next to L's, only to find said person already wide awake, sitting in that strange position of his and also already staring. "Good morning, Light," he would always say, and together (because now everything they did, they were together) they would go down to the kitchen for L's breakfast of sweets and sugars. Then Light would take a shower, extremely conscious of L sitting on the toilet just a step away. Well, at least the man allowed the handcuffs to be off while Light showered. (When L needed to bathe, he would simply handcuff Light to the door, and watch him from where he sat in the tub). All in all, the whole ordeal was rather embarrassing. Being watched 24/7, by someone with eyes so... piercing - it was uncomfortable almost to the point of actual pain.

Light sighed again, thinking back on the past few months. Why had he ever asked to be thrown in that jail cell in the first place? What on earth had he been _thinking_? The whole thing had all just been a waste of time - he should have known that it would be. All it had done was cause him trouble, and allow the task force to fall further behind in the investigation, watching _him_ while they could have been getting actual work done searching for the _real_ Kira. But no, Ryuzaki was convinced that Light Yagami himself had at one point been Kira. The guy just wouldn't admit to himself that he was wrong.

Well, let him think whatever he wants. That's what Light told himself.

It made Ryuzaki depressed to think that his deduction had been wrong, that the one fact his entire case had been hanging upon was far from the truth. He _knew_ that Light was innocent, he had to. But probably if he admitted that to himself, L would lose it, and wouldn't be of any help in the case any longer until he got over it. The man had never once been wrong about anything, so it was bound to shake him up a little that he had been wrong this time. Well, if he wanted to say that Light was once Kira, let him say it. Light and he both knew the truth anyway, so what difference did it make?

"You know Light," L said lightly as Light stepped out and wrapped a towel around himself. "I've been thinking too."

"Oh really," he said, holding out his arm so that L could cuff him again. The little lock on the cuff always made an ominous little _clink_ whenever it was snapped into place. The handcuffs were such a burden, but at least it was one that he could put up with, if this was the only way to stay out of that jail cell anyway. The cuffs _were_ starting to leave red marks on his wrist though. He grimaced. So bothersome.

"Hmm, you're not much of a morning person are you?" L noted idly.

"That's what you've been thinking about?" Light snapped. The truth of it was, he was his worst in the mornings. Usually the shower put him in a better mood, but lately with L there, watching him even then, it took an extra hour or so for Light to get out of his slightly foul morning mood.

"No. I was simply stating a fact. It seems I keep learning more and more about you, Light Yagami.... Well, I suppose that will happen when two people are literally chained together all the time. Anyway, whenever this is all over, I hope that despite all this-" he gestured to the chain stretching out between them "-we can still be friends. That's what I've been thinking about lately, and what I wanted to say to you. In truth, if you are not Kira as I suspect, then I am glad to have met you Light Yagami. I know I said it before, but I think I'll say it again. You are the first real friend that I have had."

Light was a little stunned at the turn of conversation. Ryuzaki -L, whatever his name was- had a way of doing that sometimes. Actually, Light was kind of touched. "I'm glad you consider me a friend Ryuzaki," he said, flipping on the fan to clear away some of the steam. "And I'm glad to have met you too. Aside from being an occasional nuisance-" he too gestured to the chain and handcuffs "-you're really an interesting person." He smiled. "Actually, you're the most interesting person I've ever met. The strangest to be sure. But yeah, I'm sure we can be friends."

"...I'm relieved to hear you say so."

* * *

_secret proposal_

_L makes a suggestion to Light that was never mentioned in the anime...._

The day dragged on. Misa was her usual quirky perky self, barging in whenever actual work was getting done, complaining loudly whenever they told her to leave and constantly beginning for a date with Light - one that didn't include Ryuzaki. Near the end of the day, Light was every bit as annoyed with her as the rest of the task force members. L just wanted her to go away. Apparently it would take some time to convince her to let them work during the day, that capturing Kira was the obvious number one priority. Light's father, Soichiro, and Aizawa were both hoping to have her permanently banned from the work area. Well, good luck telling Misa Misa anything she doesn't want to hear. Not even Light could get her to do everything he asked her to.

And to top it all off, that night when Light was finally alone in his room - well, as alone as he could get anyway - and was hoping to get some rest, L had eve more inquiries for him. As depressed and unmotivated as L had claimed to be the day before in Misa's room, he had kept Light down in the workroom with him for most of the night. Light just wanted to go to bed, but Ryuzaki insisted that there had to be something they could do to further progress the Kira case. However, Ryuzaki himself really just sat around, eating his fill of sweets as usual, idly typing in a word or two on the computer every now and then, and Light even caught him playing cards a time or two. Whenever he called him out on these things, Ryuzaki would give him a guilty expression and an apologetic laugh, but that was it.

When finally they retired though, finally when Light was able to lay down and rest, L was suddenly once again in the mood for conversation. "Light?" he called softly in the darkness.

Light groaned. "Yes Ryuzaki?" Maybe the guy had finally come up with some sort of new lead for the Kira investigation - but Light really truthfully and honestly at that moment did not care. His mind was going out on him, he needed sleep. He'd spent over a month in that damn prison cell, sleeping whenever and sometimes on the floor. It had been so long since he'd been in a real bed, and now that he was finally out of that place he was sleeping like an angel every night. So you see, he was more tired than he usually would have been had he not spent a month in a cold prison cell, and his thoughts were a bit clouded. Right then he didn't care about the Kira investigation or any of that, he didn't want to have to think about all the tiny miniscule little details any longer. Really, Light just wanted all of this to be over. He wanted peace, and rest.

But L's real topic of conversation surprised Light, and took him off guard. "What do you think you will do... once we have captured Kira?" Whatever Light had been expecting L to say, it hadn't been that. He did have to think for a moment, but that was okay. This time it wasn't like a puzzle he had to solve. It was a simple question, one that he probably should have asked himself long ago.

"I really don't know," he answered honestly, turning on his other side and staring out the window. The chain connecting he and L together tugged a bit at his wrist, and L scooted a bit to give it some slack. There wasn't much space in between the two small beds - the chain for the handcuffs was much too short for that. "Go back to school I guess," he said, still wondering. Hmm... what _would_ he do after all this? Go back to school? Really? He groaned internally just thinking about all the days he had missed. He'd have to start again the next school year. Would they even take him back? Well, he was one of the top scorers on the entrance exams. They practically had to let him back in, if he wanted it. "What will you do?" he asked, more out of something to say than honest curiosity. L didn't answer.

After a few more minutes of thought, as tired as he was, Light felt compelled to continue the conversation. "Hey, Ryuzaki," he started. "Do you think you'll miss any of this?"

"Miss it?" L asked idly from behind.

"Yeah. Not the people dying I mean, but the excitement and all that. I mean, this place is like... a second home for us all. Call me emotional, but I'm not one who changes my routine very often. I can get attached to things like that pretty easily. After everything winds down, I think _I'll _miss it."

L was quiet for a while. So quiet, that Light wondered if the guy had already gone to sleep. "I have to admit, this is the most daring thing I've ever done. Kira really is the greatest opponent I've ever faced - the hardest puzzle to solve. Anything after this will just seem easy. While situations like the one we're in usually teach people how to appreciate life more, I'll probably just get board." Light chuckled at that - it was so like him. "Yes, I do suppose I'll miss the chase. Still, I'll be happy to see Kira in our hands, where he belongs."

"Don't get me wrong," Light said quickly. He had detected that single suspicious note in L's voice, could almost sense the wheels turning again. "I want to capture Kira almost as much as you do - probably more, seeing as how much he's put me and my dad through. It's just that...." He thought for a moment, searching for a way to phrase how he felt. He rolled onto his back again, giving even more slack to the chain, the constant reminder that until this case was solved, L suspected him. Even more incentive to capture Kira. "Well, I think after all this is over, I'll probably just feel lost. I won't really know what to do with myself anymore. Maybe I should join the police force, and become a detective like my dad... or like you, Ryuzaki."

"Yes, I see what you mean," Ryuzaki said in his idle monotone. "Light," he said, and the sound of his voice had changed, had the sense of a fresh idea to it.

"Yes Ryuzaki?"

"How do you feel about becoming my partner after the Kira case? That is, if you are truly not Kira himself. And after you finish school of course. Maybe I could go back with you even. We'll finish it together."

Light sat up, staring at L. "Partners? You serious?"

"Of course I am Light. When am I not?" He yawned loudly. It seemed L did get tired after all.

"True, but I've never even considered such a future for myself. Are you sure?"

"Of course," he said again, rolling over in his blankets so that he could see Light's face. "If you are not Kira that is."

Light sighed. "Of course," he repeated mockingly.

"Actually this isn't the first time I've thought of it," L continued on, his voice still soft and unaffected by emotion. "I've considered it several times in the past because you see, your thought process is much similar to mine, Light Yagami. We would make a near unstoppable team, I think. And as I've said twice before now, you are the only friend I feel I have ever had. There is something about you. And if you are not Kira, my enemy, then it is only natural that I would want you as my partner. You see, I believe that you could almost do all the work that I do myself. Almost. So why not?"

L sat up in bed with a grunt, facing Light and sitting in that strange way of his. "You would be all too perfect for the job. I understand that you can't answer yes or no right away. It is quite a burden, and before everything else this will not, _cannot _be decided until I am absolutely sure without a doubt that you are not Kira. Obviously. But at least say you'll think on it, Light. It would really... mean a lot to me."

Shocked, Light stared into Ryuzaki's face. Was this another test of some kind to figure out if he was Kira? Or did he really mean it? Honestly though, _him_, as L's partner? He'd never thought about that before. What would it be like? Of course he wasn't Kira, so when this was all over.... Had he really ever considered what he'd do after college? Maybe he should give it some thought. Finally, he nodded. "Yes, I'll think on it Ryuzaki."

L stared at him sleepily for a moment longer, and then rolled back into his covers. "Thank you Light," he said drowsily.

"Honestly, I should probably be thanking you."

* * *

_**A/N: **__You probably noticed how I switch back and fourth from calling L "L" and "Ryuzaki." I do that because I'm mostly writing from Light's POV, and he himself switches like this. He thinks of L as "Ryuzaki" "L" and sometimes even "Ryuga."_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer: **__I do not own Death Note~_

_but I kinda sometimes wish I did. ^_^_

_**A/N:**__ For convenience's sake, we're going to jump ahead to episode 23, where L and Light are chasing Higuchi - the Yotsuba Kira - in the helicopter._

_Simply think of this chapter as a sort of catcher-upper. I don't like having to write this part, because it seems like I'm just writing down everything that's going on in the anime. It's so... confining. Almost impossible to put in any kind of original thoughts, but I think I may have managed it. After all, it's not as if I could go without putting this part in the story at all._

* * *

"**It's Over"**

"I didn't realize you could pilot a helicopter... that's incredible," Light commented with a little laugh in his voice. It was almost comical for some reason, to sit next to Ryuzaki and watch him do all these things that he himself couldn't do. To watch that same guy, the one he'd scuffled with and worked with, the same guy he saw every day, the guy who wore those pink strawberry pajamas and took bubble baths in the evenings... well, it was just a little hard for Light to convince himself that this was that same guy. Comical yes, certainly a little amusing, but somehow also... it sent shivers up his spine. To see that guy so... serious. Sure, L was risking his life every day that he was on the Kira case, simply because he was finally showing his face to just that little piece of the world, but really, Light had never seen him actually in the action like this. In fact, he hadn't been sure before if Ryuzaki could handle it. And that's why, seeing him so much a natural at it, it made Light feel... strong. A sudden urge of hope was there. They were really doing this. They were about to catch Kira.

Maybe, it was true, that he had been right and this Higuchi character was _not _the original Kira. No, there was no other explanation for it. This Kira was not the same one that the task force had been chasing before. But... they could always ask Higuchi how he had inherited his power. Then that should give them enough of an idea on how to go after the real, original Kira, shouldn't it? And without a doubt, Light would be proven innocent. Then, to Ryuzaki, he could just be Light Yagami, and no longer the suspected Kira. And it would also be a great relief to himself as well. In truth, as much as he didn't want to think about it, to even consider it, Light had had his fair share of doubt ever since being set free from that prison cell. No, even then, while in containment. Maybe even before...? But that was why he had asked to be locked up in the first place wasn't it? What if... what if he _was_ the original Kira?

Oh, there was no time for all this now. They were _in _the action. The excitement. The adrenaline. They were chasing Kira now. Would this all be over so soon? He was happy, and yet somehow regretful that he would have to be parting from his new sort of family and his new sort of home so soon. Still....

When the news came that Light's father had been shot, the chills spread throughout his entire body. Fright, and then anger. At least, his father was alright. First a heart attack, and now this, all because of Kira. He just couldn't be Kira, he just couldn't be! Not putting his own father in danger... for the chance to be seen as a "god." That, truly, was immature, as Ryuzaki said.

It was a little funny, again, when Ryuzaki handed Light the gun. Just by the way he held it... you could tell that L was not used to holding a gun. Briefly Light wondered how amusing it would be to see L aim and fire it. More than anything, L seemed like the kind of person who would just play with it, spinning it around in his hands or something rather than using it as an actual weapon. Anyway, Light refused the gun. There was no need for him to have a thing like that, and it was against the law. Yes, it did sound like something his father would say, didn't it? Because that was the way his father had raised him. There would be no need to kill.... Light would never kill anybody. Would he?

Aizawa was there. He had had a road block set up, cutting off this Kira's escape. He was the only one who would do such a thing, after all. Light and L had told the police not to get involved, but there they were. Watari shot one of the wheels of Higuchi's car, and it slammed into a guardrail, shattering the front seat window. Cop cars closed in around him.

Higuchi had nowhere left to run.

"It's over," Light said in amazement. Really, had it all come to this? Was the Kira case finally coming to a close? How long had it been again, since Kira had appeared in this world? Was this really it, here and now?

"Yes," L agreed firmly. "It's over."

* * *

**WHAT IT MEANS... TO REMEMBER**

"Notebook?"

"You probably won't believe me, but I've got a special notebook. If I write someone's name it in while thinking of their face, that person dies."

"Mr. Yagami?"

"Yeah, I found it," Light's father's voice sounded through the headset. "It was in one of the compartments of Higuchi's bag. He has written a lot of names in it, but there doesn't seem to be anything else unusual about it." A strange thing happened then. Higuchi's car wasn't far off from the helicopter in which Light Yagami and L were sitting, but Light wasn't really paying attention. He and L were listening closely to what Soichiro was saying, but neither of them looked up until Light's father started screaming. What in the world was wrong with him? "What is it, Mr. Yagami?"

"It's... a monster!" he cried, sprawled out on the pavement and pointing.

Light watched as L told Soichiro to calm down, evenly reminding the man that he wasn't armed to defend himself. It was a lucky thing. If he had in fact been armed, it could have been bad. What if he'd accidentally shot someone? Obviously he was hallucinating. Did it have something to do with the fact that he had been shot? Light had never found out where he had been shot at, as a matter of fact. Was he in any pain? He was saying that he could see a monster... and L was somehow convinced that a shinigami of all things was involved. Hadn't it been L who had fallen out of his chair screaming when the second Kira mentioned a shinigami in one of the tapes sent to Sakura TV? Why was he suddenly so bent on believing that all this was the work of something like a shinigami - a god of death?

Then, Light and L watched in amazement as Mogi picked up the notebook, and turned to look in the direction in which Light's father had been pointing. Then, he too began to scream. "Mogi, what's wrong?" Light demanded through the headset. He refused to believe that this was the work of a god of death. It was just impossible, wasn't it? Everybody knew - gods of death, shinigami, didn't exist.

"It seems," Soichiro stuttered, "only people who have touched the notebook can see... this monster."

It was quiet for just a moment. Then.... "Please bring the notebook over to the helicopter."

"O-okay."

Light watched closely as Ryuzaki lifted the notebook by its corners, and cautiously turned to look in the direction of Higuchi's car. L's eyes grew wide, but at least he didn't scream. "It really is... a shinigami," he said in quiet wonder. "They really do... exist...." He trailed off, staring wide eyed out at whatever it was he seemed to be seeing. He looked like he was having a moment, but Light wanted to see it too. Always the critic, Light wanted to see such a thing, this so-called shinigami, with his own eyes. He had to, if he were to believe it.

Ryuzaki wasn't talking, or even moving. He seemed to be struggling with some harsh form of internal conflict. His eyes focused and unfocused, still staring. "Ryuzaki, come on, let me see it." Light couldn't help it if he were a bit aggravated, just a hair impatient. He wanted to know what was going on, and Ryuzaki didn't seem to be aware of anything that was happening around him at the time.

Light took the notebook from Ryuzaki. He didn't think the guy even noticed.

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The silence was so loud, Light felt as if he were screaming. But was he really? Was that his voice inside his head? His eyes were _burning_ as his memory came back to him in a flood. There was so much, so much, so much that he had forgotten. It all came back as if a dam in his mind had broken somewhere, rushing in and filling empty space he hadn't been aware of. It was all too much to take in at once, Light felt like his brain was frying behind his eyelids. So much, so much, so much he had forgotten....

And now

he remembered.


End file.
